


dress up heaven and hell (like we all try to do)

by Iza456



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, One Shot, a spin on the first episode of season 5, emotionally supporting each other, sara and ava have a lot to talk about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22806988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iza456/pseuds/Iza456
Summary: Sara and Ava's relationship had been struggling since Sara got back from the crossover mission. When they finally get some time alone, all Ava can do is hope that she hasn't already lost her.OrSara is going through a hard time and Ava just wants to do whatever she can to help
Relationships: Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 2
Kudos: 132





	dress up heaven and hell (like we all try to do)

“Can we talk?” Ava hesitantly asked as she stepped into her and Sara’s quarters. 

It’s been so long since Ava’s felt this level of uncertainty around the other blonde. And her mind was hardly handling it well, drowning in self-doubt and insecurities. She felt her stomach twist when Sara looked up at her with her own uncertainty. Like Ava had one chance to pull her back in or she’d lose her forever.

It seemed like she waited forever for Sara to respond, and when she saw that small nod, Ava released a breath she hadn’t even realized she was holding. 

Ever since Sara had gotten back from her mission, things had been so _so_ shaky with them. 

Ava had never been good with emotions, and maybe that’s part of her programming or she never learned how to handle human emotions or something, but none of that mattered because she had always been able to read Sara. 

But now, now she couldn’t. 

She didn’t know what Sara needed. And that _killed_ her because she could see the pain in her love’s eyes, but it felt like no matter what she did, she just made it worse. 

In the beginning, Ava felt like she should give Sara space. Because that’s what you do in these situations, right? You give the person time and space and then when they’re ready they’ll come to you. You don’t push and you don’t put your own needs before their own. You just wait.

But if Ava’s being honest, she had no idea what happened on that mission. She would like to think she did. That she knew what Sara had gone through, but in truth all she really knew was that Sara lost a friend. 

A close one. 

And that broke Ava’s heart. 

Because she knew how many people Sara’s lost. 

But she can’t just take away Sara’s pain, or bring back all those people back, or even fucking protect her from losing more. No matter how much she wanted to.

Ava took a seat on the edge of their bed, her posture softening as she relaxed a little in the one place she always felt safe. Sara was still sitting in the comfy, cushioned chair they set up in the corner of the room. She was leaning forward with her elbows balanced on her knees. 

Sara briefly pinched the bridge of her nose, and Ava saw her body move as she took a deep breath before shakingly releasing it. When she turned her head to look at Ava, she spoke so quietly, “What is the thing that you wanted to talk about?”

And Ava didn’t know why, but those words felt like a punch to the gut. 

“I don’t know,” Ava answered with a shrug, “I just - I - I wanted to see how you were doing.”

Sara chuckled at that, “How do you think I’m doing, Aves?” The captain’s head shook a couple of times like she couldn’t quite believe Ava even asked, “I come home from one of the hardest missions of my life to find my home run down by camera men. My family’s so focused on getting in enough screen time that they barely even thought to ask how I’m doing. And _you’re_ busy trying to run interference between everyone.”

“Aw, babe,” Ava breathed, moving to sit on the ottoman across from Sara, “I wasn’t trying to hurt you. And I understand if you’re mad, but I really just - I don’t know what to do to help.”

“I’m not mad, Ava, I’m just - _god_ ,” Sara breathed, exasperated. Her hands forming into fists, “I am just so so tired, Aves.”

Ava felt her heart drop as Sara’s voice gave out on the last few words, helpless as she watched Sara’s eyes fill with tears. 

When Sara spoke again, she was looking at Ava like she’s the only one who could hold her together, “I just, I really don’t know how much more I can take of this.”

“Hey,” Ava was already reaching for Sara’s hands, gently pulling them away from Sara so she could hold them. She would never understand how they fit so perfectly in her own, “I know how hard this is on you. And I can see how much it is taking out of you. I couldn't imagine what you’re going through. But baby- hey no, look at me.” Ava gently took Sara’s chin when Sara went to look away, “You are not alone, okay? You have me and you have the team and none of us are going anywhere.”

“You can’t promise me that.” Sara whispered as she pulled her hands from Ava’s grasp and moved to get up. 

“Sara, wait,” Ava breathed, but Sara was already out of her seat, and moving towards the door. 

Ava’s mind felt like it was being flooded with every insecurity she had ever felt. That she wasn’t enough. That she had somehow made this horrible situation so much worse. That she would never understand what Sara needed. 

It was so hard to ignore all of it, and in the moment, it was crippling and the absolute last thing she needed. 

But then her mind caught itself, and that moment of clarity was all she needed. 

Ava caught Sara’s wrist in her hand and pulled her back into her orbit. She saw Sara’s breath hitch in surprise and when ice blue eyes met her own she felt all the pieces fall back into place. 

Ava scanned Sara’s face and saw the fear and pain and everything in between. The captain’s chest rose and fell heavily as Ava leaned her forehead against her girlfriend’s, “I’m not going anywhere. Ever. You’re stuck with me, yeah?” 

Sara’s head nodded briefly, and with only a second of hesitation, she surged up capturing Ava’s lips between her own. Ava had to brace herself to not stumble back in surprise, her eyes widening briefly before she closed them and fell into the kiss. 

Ava found herself getting lost in the feeling of Sara’s lips against her own, of the arms wrapped around her lower back and when the love of her life took her bottom lip gently between her teeth, it took way too much effort to not just pull them back onto the bed and to forget all the pain and uncertainty. 

She hadn’t realized how much she missed this. Not just the feeling of Sara’s lips on hers, but Sara being this close, the intimacy that had always been so natural with them. Her hands reached up between them to hold Sara’s face for a moment, her fingers delicately dancing along her jaw. Her thumb ran along the edge of it and that’s when she realized the wetness there. 

And in the second it took her to realize that Sara was crying, a small sob escaped between the captain’s lips. Sara dropped the kiss, curling into Ava as her forehead rested against the side of Ava’s neck. Her fingers took hold of the back of Ava’s shirt, crumbling the fabric between them. 

Ava tentatively wrapped Sara in her arms. 

“I’ve got you,” Ava whispered in Sara’s ear.

And that’s when Sara finally allowed herself to break down. 

Each sob felt like a sharp pain to Ava, but she knew that all she could do in that moment was hold her. And so with every sob, she would somehow pull her closer and each time she felt Sara breaking a little bit more she’d whisper that she loved her. That she had her. 

  
  


Ava wasn’t sure how much time passed until Sara pulled back some, running a hand under her nose and her fingers wiping away stray tears. Ava followed every movement with her eyes. Her arms still loosely holding Sara, keeping her close.

Sara took a deep breath, one that shook all the way into her body and all the way out. Ava saw the regret start to work it’s way into Sara’s mind, and her groan in protest was enough for Ava to follow what she was thinking.

“Sorry,” the small blonde chuckled, her eyes skipping around a second before landing on Ava. 

Ava just gave her a small smile, a hand going to the back of Sara’s head to pull her closer. Ava pressed a soft kiss to Sara’s forehead, whispering, “You never have to apologize for this, babe.”

“I know,” Sara responded. Taking a step back she turned and sat on the bed beside her, “I’m just not really good at the whole breaking down thing.”

Ava smiled, nodding as she sat down beside Sara, “Really?? I had no idea!!”

Sara sharply turned her head, shoving her shoulder jokingly into Ava’s, “Shut up, you jerk.”

Ava muffled a laugh with her lips. They sat there a minute in contentment, letting the last hour wash over them. They still had so much to work on, in their relationship and individually, but they knew one thing for sure.

That no matter what happened, they would have each other. 

Ava’s hand slid under Sara’s, intertwining their fingers, Sara looked at their hands then at Ava, “Forever?” She asked quietly. 

Ava nodded, smiling, “Always.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot is close to my heart. I struggle with these same thoughts in my own relationship and it's why I wanted to write them down in a story form. Being emotionally vulnerable with the person you love is hard, but ultimately, it is so so worth it to have that one person by your side tell you that you're not going to lose them
> 
> I sadly don't have time to commit to a several chapter story, but I'd love to write more one-shots. So if you liked what you read above and have any ideas just leave a comment!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
